2002-10-05 - 2:21 p.m.

I went by Starbucks again a few nights later, after it opened. I still couldn�t go in, though I had tried. I thought I�d go inside and, you know, reflect on its presence in the neighborhood, rub my chin and say ahh and all that. But I walked right by. It was too new, too safe, too shiny for this corner. Plus, I couldn�t help but wonder what people on the street would think if they saw me inside - hey, there�s that guy who used to come to COURAJ and Green Party meetings, someone might say, guess he�s a traitor, guess he�s gone to the other side.

I stood at the corner again and looked at it, then thought the better of it and crossed the street. I peeked my head in the Green Mill and asked the guy what it cost if you get there late. It�s five bucks, he said, but the cover ends at 12:30. Great, I told him, and added it to my mental list of unfulfilled possibilities.

When I came out, a lady on the corner was motioning to me.

What you looking at? she snarled at me. I started to walk away. Why you following me, you fucking asshole? You fucking asshole, why you keep following me around? I looked back, but kept walking. The other people on the sidewalked look to me, then to her, then back to me. I squeezed between two guys and who were coming my way and started crossing the street. What do you want from me, you goddamn Muslim? If I had a gun, she said, pointing her hand into a gun-shape, aiming it at me and puling the trigger, Boom!

After I got across the street I didn�t look back. I started thinking, maybe this place could use a little bit of that safe, shiny newness.

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