2002-04-18 - 10:12 p.m.

I come out of the library and into the sunlight. I had my face in this magazine, and it had this big glossy map of Irsael and Palestine, with these little explosions around Israel to represent suicide bombers, and with little green arrows to represent Israeli attacks. But it doesn�t even look like a map, it has these little topographical discolorations that made it feel like you�re just floating above it, and the Mediterranean never looked so warm and inviting, and the Jordan River looks peaceful as can be, but down below you can hear the collective groan of two peoples mowing into each other. The helicopter gunships are roaring overhead, and the tanks rolling in, and the Palestinian children crying, and you are the God overhead, just sitting in your seat at the library, staring from overhead with your fetishistic little obsession.

I come out of there still thinking about it, imagining what it would be like to live in Israel, where you worry about explosions everywhere you go, and I�m glad I still live in a free society where you generally still don�t have to worry about explosions all the time. I�m glad I live in civilization and not chaos, and that�s something we can take for granted if we don�t realize it. There is a certain predictability about this thing called civilization that I like, much better than one where people run around blowing each other up and stabbing each other with knives. I like being able to walk down Broadway, turn into this no-name convenience store right past the post office, and buy a banana and a swiss roll for 55 cents.

�It�s sticky, man. Hot and sticky,� this woman in front of me says to the cashier.

�Hey, I don�t like this weather, either,� the cashier retorts. She scoops some change out of the drawer and tears the receipt off the top. She hands them to the woman.

�What happened to spring, you know?� the woman says.

�Yeah, I want spring,� the cashier says. �They stole our spring!�

With that, she looks off a bit, like she�s making a general accusation to anyone who will listen.

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